FROM THE TEXT
A Modern Orlando
in Teddy Bear Armour
Text and photos © Gry Ellebjerg
HEDDA BAUER
Born: 1990
Lives in: Östra Göinge, Sweden
Occupation: Artist
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY TWENTIETH
THREE FORTY-ONE P.M.
As an artist, I live my life in a queer bubble. Every night when my friends and I go out, we have a queer takeover. There are many private places, but you need to know someone to get in. I have invited people I met on the streets. I learned the hard way that I need to be careful.
Being in a queer community, you have to know the codes and protect the space. If a new person who doesn't understand the codes joins and starts to question what takes place, that energy easily destroys the mood. It can even be dangerous.
I experienced that a while ago when a friend invited someone thinking it would work out. It turned out very violent and unpleasant.
I move around a lot. In every new place, I try to find a queer context. Historically, this is what queer people have done.
Living in the artistic bubble is one thing. Going to Lesbisk Fredag in Copenhagen and enjoying the organised queer space is another. I had forgotten I need it so much. I need to feel we're all okay with being queer, that we all fight the same battles. I feel welcome and safe, and I can talk about different things.
You have to dare to be a little separatist. Dare to say: ”I can't take in everyone right now”, because that's what I've been doing for many years. I have been inviting people in and offering a shoulder to lean on.
It's hard to see beyond the bubble. I notice it when I meet people fangirling at me: ”Wow, you live this way. You dare to say what you mean. You're so cool!” I'm like, what? I'm just me. Sometimes I get irritated because I'm just like them. But maybe I'm the only non-binary person they know. I become a symbol for that.
This year I've expressed myself in a new way in my art, which is very queer. I dare to say things that may not follow the traditional artistic language. I am using a more everyday, intimate, and personal language. It's exciting.
It has taken a while for me to reach this point. I have been afraid of the art world. It's incredibly white, conservative, and full of men.
I've grown up with Facebook and Instagram. That's how I find lesbian spaces in public. That's also how I date. I think each individual creates the lesbian spaces by bringing something of themselves into them.
For example, when I was living in Gothenburg, there was a photographer who took a lot of pictures of everyone in the community. It became her language. She made a book out of it. Her project helped me become comfortable with my body.
I played a lot with my body language at that time. I got tattoos. I was naked in front of the lens. I've had a lot of different styles. Playing with self-expression is really exciting.
You're creating your own little queer home with your clothes, hair, and makeup. I've always felt safe in that. This fur coat is like armour. It's a big pink fake bear fur. It looks like a teddy, but it's definitely armour against the rest of the world.
